Are you a stressed-out, slightly weepy, middle-aged mother-of-three with low self-esteem, a sludge-coloured wardrobe, who hyperventilates every time you visit Marks & Spencer or Kew?
Do you harbour a secret desire to have sassy gay men pour you into a cheap tea dress, accessorise you to within an inch of your life, and then throw you down a catwalk in front of adoring family and friends? If so
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